One thing I’ve realized recently is that I seem to leave a lot of ugly things hanging. For instance, if I decide to end a friendship or any kind of relationship because it has turned into something destructive, the joy that comes with being free of it often overrides any motivation to tie up loose ends or have one final word with the other person. “As long as you’re gone, I’m happy,” has almost always won me over.
But that doesn’t solve things, does it?
It’s only good for a short while, and then you realize you’ll have to deal with the repercussions of that unfortunate event and oftentimes, you’ll be doing it alone. Because if you don’t tell the other person you’ve been hurt or that you’re angry or that he or she has offended you in some way, then they’ll never know. And what they don’t know can’t hurt them. And what they don’t know, they can’t feel sorry for or make changes to.
Sometimes, though, it just takes so much effort to iron things out. It drains the energy out of you to take hours out of your day to meet face to face with someone you’d rather not see. And it can really wear you out of it’s anger you’re dealing with and you’re struggling to put a lid on it and if, at the same time you’re getting more than enough provocation simply by that look on the other person’s face! (But really, it’s not their fault they look like that.)
So anyway, that’s the way things are. But cleaning has to be done and it has to be done soon. We don’t want to have an entire sky full of ugly things hanging over us!