You’ll know things are all messed up when the very thing you hate becomes the only thing you want but can never have. You think you’ve made up your mind about something and then something else comes along that completely embodies everything you swore you’d stay away from and then all of a sudden the rest of the world changes and you find yourself confronted with your own words and there’s absolutely nothing you can do about it. There’s no need to go into specific detail; I just want to get the general idea out into the world.
There can be moments in life when we begin to doubt everything we thought we stood for, sacrifice a lot of things to believe in this whole other reality that maybe what we previously thought of as pure evil could possibly have an exception. We delude ourselves into believing that this counter-reality is actually the real one, and then start making plans from there. Everything seems okay, until the questions resurface and shake the steady ground upon which we’ve planted our feet.
Oftentimes these questions are the most important of all. Oftentimes they peck at the very foundations of what we call real and true, and then make us realize that we’ve only scrutinized the tip of the iceberg, the crown of the tooth, the trunk of the tree. What we thought was the exception of evil wasn’t the real deal after all. Eventually we come to see that in fact, there is something even darker beneath; and the reason we hadn’t seen it in the first place was because we chose to be blind in the absence of any enlightenment.
At this point we can decide to revert to our original perception that the mirky blanket was faultless, continuous, everlasting. But then we cannot erase the memory of having once fled from such a belief and then we come face to face with ourselves, questioning and doubting the certainty of what we formerly called principle. At that very moment, if we are brave enough to take a step back, we realize that we’ve been humbled, beaten at our own game, given a taste of our own medicine. Because the only truth is that nothing is certain in the mortal sphere of things, and what is immortal can only unfold bits and pieces of the bigger picture as they come into view.